Maybe One Day I Will

There is a longing in my heart
one that has always been there
a longing that continues to grow
I try to push it aside
I try to runaway
It scares me
it injects fear that runs through my veins
It is intertwined to my innermost being
a part of me that brings so much joy
a part of me that is fragile and tender
it can so easily inflict pain
it can crush me and implode
yet it can take me places I've never been
I have tasted what it has to offer
it was pure, sweet, joy
that turned sour before I could ingest it
it requires devotion
a devotion that allows it to evolve
I have closed it off
slammed the door in its face
and I am stammering back
to reopen, restart, redo
to start over brand new
but it is hard to start something new
when something old has tampered everything new
maybe one day I will be ready
maybe one day I will step out onto the water
maybe one day I will
maybe one day I will

YL Psalm

We each wrote our own psalms as part of a campaigners lesson a few weeks ago.  One of my guys is a senior now and has come a long way the past four years and just reading his psalm makes me believe even more that Jesus changes lives.  It is amazing that God has shown me his transformation and growth and it has been a blessing to be apart of this great young man's life who is now seeking out Jesus instead of the parts of this world that bring death.  Here is what he wrote

Dear Heavenly Father,
Though I think about you often
I push you away just as much
And I constantly go against you
As if I had forgotten
When times get rough
you're the first to come to mind
Yet I blame you first and
think it's part of your plan second
I rarely drop to my knees to praise you
though I assume you hear my thoughts
But I should fix all these problems
in your name God
Because a love like yours cannot be bought
Open my eyes to your love God
and show me the way out of darkness
As I continue to pursue you
throughout this journey called life
It's in Jesus name I pray
Amen.