My Four Walls

Alone
trapped by four walls
I built them myself
in darkness abound
I can't see my own two feet
I have everything I don't need
I stumble over and over again
over obstacles I can't see
I reach out for anyone,
but its too dark to reach
the darkness drowns me
it repressed me deeper
and yet deeper still
it fills my lungs
and fills my brain
the darkness pumps in my heart
and runs through my veins
it consumes me
it becomes who I am
the darkness chains my two feet
right next to my grave
I close my eyes
now abandoned for good
deserted
alone
trapped by my four walls
I built them myself
in darkness abound
years later I hear a chipping
I hear a voice, a murmur
I hear chunks of drywall shatter on the ground
slowly I hear tiny crackles come from one wall
I begin to feel warm rays of light,
but my eyes sting and I shut them further
small rays of light must have slipped through the cracks
I have been in the dark so long
I resist and my eyes stay shut
yet someone is still chipping away
tearing down my walls
they start smashing holes into the wall
I hear their thunderous strikes breaking through
as light begins to flood
like water rushing through a dam
after years I finally hear the wall crumble and fall
I feel vulnerable and exposed
yet feel warmth and joy
for the first time since I was a little child
I can taste freedom
light touches my skin,
but they don't come to free me
they leave me in my shackles
they move to the next wall
and start hammering again

Psalm 16 (Remix)

Each day I wake I give thanks to my savior for he is love;
and his mercy and loving-kindness is always present
To him who drags me out of selfishness daily;
for is mercy and loving-kindness is always present
To him who gives me wisdom and joy,
for his mercy and loving-kindness is always present
To him who has shown me the mountains, the canyons, and the oceans,
for his mercy and loving-kindness is always present
To him who turns my darkest nights to day;
for his mercy and loving-kindness is always present
To him who takes control when I won't let him;
for his mercy and loving-kindness is always present
To him who shattered my sense of entitlement;
for his mercy and loving-kindness is always present
And who is my father when I don't feel like I have one;
for his mercy and loving-kindness is always present
With his unrivaled strength and power he makes me strong when I am weak;
for his mercy and loving-kindness is always present
To him who wants me to abandon my pathetic worldly desires and follow him;
for his mercy and loving-kindness is always present
He who carried me through the wilderness when I wouldn't let him;
for his mercy and loving-kindness is always present
To him who slays my desire to be self-sufficient;
for his mercy and loving-kindness is always present
And who brings me true joy and satisfaction when I search for it elsewhere;
for his mercy and loving-kindness is always present
To him who gave me freedom from the chains of my sin;
for his mercy and loving-kindness is always present
To him who has never abandoned me when I have abandoned him;
for his mercy and loving-kindness is always present
Thank you for relentlessly and wholly loving me when I don't;
thank you for your mercy and loving-kindness that is always with me

Never Be The Same

I see what he does
I have seen what he has done
heard his nasty words
that make me come undone
I pray to never be the same
to journey down an unbeaten path
to be fresh and genuine
to build relationships of substance
He sits among us everyday,
yet is always absent
I think my demands might be too grand,
yet is depth and warmth too much to ask
I try to accept it,
but I hate when the mark falls short
I pray to never be the same
to journey down an unbeaten path
to be present and near
to pursue matters of depth
He crawls back to his confines
and buries his burdens deeper and deeper
making him sicker and sicker
never wanting love or embrace
to reach his broken heart
that is buried beneath
all of the rubble and rubbish
I pray to never be the same
to journey down an unbeaten path
to be love and grace
to hold your heart higher than mine
I pray to never be the same
to journey down an unbeaten path
So I won't be the same

Let Us Go Over To The Other Side

Let us go over to the other side
come with kindness
come with an open heart
come to see people
instead of seeing through them
leave your comforts
leave loving that's easy
let us go over to the other side
where loving is hard but,
is true and real
where love transcends society
where love reaches the least of these
the oppressed, the forgotten, the transparent
let us go over to the other side
and leave our rusted chains behind
let Christ compel you soul
the other side where
dirty, weak, and sinful are loved
where all are seen
where none are forgotten
where all are part of one kingdom
let us go over to the other side
where we look at all people
where we serve all people
where we don't put ourselves first,
but Christ above all
are you truly following Jesus?
then let us go over to the other side
where we are all called
where we all belong
let us fall in love
with our first love again

I am Willing

I am unsure of it all
I don't know what I'm doing
I am in another predicament
not where I want to be
my mind jumbled and scrambled
my feet calloused and tangled
weakness creeps in
it drags me in
it entices me
I have lost all bearing,
yet the Lord uses me still
I am willing
even though I don't see it

I settle for the world to satisfy
I know I'm missing the target
and I still push on
filled with ignorance
my weakness blinds me
so I see through my own eyes
which misguide and mislead
my vision shackles my ankles and wrists
I believe I am vile
yet the Lord uses me still
I am willing
I shine His light
even though I don't see it

I have been placed
precisely and perfectly
to serve a purpose
to spread love
to draw His beloved out of darkness
I am broken,
but not destroyed
I am still of use
still a candle with a wick
so the Lord uses me
precisely and perfectly